we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
