so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
