Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
