Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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