I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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