i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
