I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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