I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
