he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
What a dumb baby whore.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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