I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
