Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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