I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
A+ Viking dick
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
