What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
is it fun? or sober?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
