So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
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Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
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She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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