we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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