There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!