Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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