White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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