I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
