you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
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I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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