even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
