Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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