Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize