Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
