so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
