You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We need to get me chipped asap
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
