my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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