I wish I could teleport
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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