In the future we'll all be gay
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
