I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I need to stop coming to work sober
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize