He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize