Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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