I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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