This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
