I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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