i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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