that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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