The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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