Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
