My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
