We're like a lot better than the average bears
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
