Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
