Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
