In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
