My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
