My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize