I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
