This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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