Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
