At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
tell me about the fingering
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