I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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