i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
