I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
