if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
