Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize